[SCENE] E2M8: At one end of one side of the arena is a Cyberdemon
disconsolately tossing rockets.  At the other end is a green Marine with yellow
glowing eyes and a huge grin plastered across his face.  The Marine is firing
BFG blasts at the Cyberdemon.]
[The Cyberdemon looks down to hear a hiss from nearby over the din.  Standing
behind one of the columns is a Former Trooper carrying a large box.  The Cyber
ducks behind the pillar.]

Cyberdemon: Damn Marines.  most of them are either too good or use the cheats,
	the rest are so useless they can't beat the Barons on E1M8.

Trooper: Yeah, it's a real dog.  Here, gimme that arm.

[The Cyberdemon pauses, then detaches his cybernetic arm.]

Cyberdemon: Who the hell are you, anyway?

Trooper: Eric Schwarzenegger.

[The Cyberdemon looks down enquiringly]

Trooper: Second cousin, three times removed.

[The Trooper finishes his work and hands the arm back]

Cyberdemon: Where'd you get that Chaingun.

Trooper: Cacos intercepted a UAC shipment of weapons in the fourth sector. 
Everyone's getting an upgrade.  That BFG you have there is supercharged.  It'll
kill the buggers even if they have the cheats on.

[The Cyberdemon grins]

Cyberdemon: What's everyone else getting then?


Trooper: I don't know much.  The Sergeants have taken a course in quick-draw,
and they got a bunch of "health bonuses".  I heard something about the
Spider-Demon getting a powerup and some new weapon.

Cyberdemon: What new weapon?

Trooper: Something called a Chain rocket Launcher...

[The Cyberdemon grins evilly.  He reattaches his arm.]

Cyberdemon: Well, time to kick butt.

[The Cyberdemon steps out from behind the column and greases the Marine.]

Cyberdemon: I LIKE this weapon.

[Fade out]

The patch: Jacks up all the monsters.  Like the man said, Troopers with
	chainguns, pumped Sergeants, BFG Cyberdemons and more.
	The Spider-demon is harder to kill, and has a chain-rocket launcher.

	Watch out for steady streams of rockets.

Known Bugs: The Trooper bugs from 1.0 is fixed.  The spider demon is the one 

	who is trigger happy now.

Where to get this patch: alt.binaries.doom

Alden Bates.