================================================================ Update to: do-tims.zip once again ================================================================ GET THIS HERE ZDOOM http://grubber.drdteam.org/doom/zdoom96x.zip WAD Authoring Template V1.4 (Clip this line) <-- yay for a 1994 template that was sitting on my HD ================================================================ Title : deathz0r Online: The Internet Made Stupid Filename : do-tims.WAD Author : Dean "deathz0r" Joseph Release Date : January 9th, 2006 Bugfix Update : January 10th, 2006 Mapfix Update : January 11th, 2006 Email Address : deathz0r@unidoom.org Misc. Author Info : Umm, I tell you how much your wad sucks. Yeah. Description : This wad is better than your pile of crap. Read the story below for a real description. UPDATE: It appears that I discovered two important bugs after releasing this. Those two bugs (involving the 1337ified rocket launcher and a script bug in dotims06 making the map unfinishable, provided you "screw up") have been resolved, along with minor map bugs that don't affect gameplay. UPDATE 2: Map bug in DOTIMS14 where one of the switches was not aligned properly, although it was lower unpegged, making it impossible to see. Rather unusual behaviour, but it's been fixed. * Additional Credits to * Hyena, Quasar, Lüt, Harvey, and everyone else who was deceived into checking out crazy.wad. Thanks for the great support, especially Hyena, who also made a map for this project, although I later decided to do this all on my own. Hobbs and DomRem for providing me with tasty demos for the startup. Everybody who has beta tested this wad, who are listed in the credits map. ================================================================ * Story * While masturbating to hardcore rabbit porn, the infamous ISP that you're connected to, deathz0r Online, has been tracing your actions. Even though one of the staff at deathz0r Online was somewhat enjoying your discovery (he was fired as soon as he was found ejaculating all over the keyboard), the rest have decided to place you against the ultimate test... to forcefully survive the sheer horrors of the internet! You have been ordered by the founder of deathz0r Online to visit twenty-five of the worst online hellholes that humanity has ever came across! Not only does nobody see them, but they have been infected with some really fucked up monsters. Only your bravery will help you survive this godawful punishment. ================================================================ * Maplist * MAP01: do-tims Portal BGM: Something from Silent Hill PROLOGUE: Prologue BGM 1: Some adagio tune BGM 2: I found it somewhere BGM 3: Nirvana - Big Cheese * SINGLE PLAYER MAPS * DOTIMS01: Entryway Tribute BGM: Supar turbo MAP01! DOTIMS02: I don't care what you think BGM: The Twenty-Third Opus of Mister Sneezelpock DOTIMS03: Twin Scortums of Mass Erection BGM: Monstar Trumpet Mania DOTIMS04: Look, in the sky! BGM: Star Wars theme DOTIMS05: Buttpirates'r'us BGM: Pirate Hair Metal DOTIMS06: Teenbopping fags BGM: Megamix 199x DOTIMS07: Vegetable sex BGM: Grinding Lima Beans Into Lima Sauce DOTIMS08: Not even Houdini could fit in a toaster BGM: Dean's Crappy Imitation of Tom DOTIMS09: Don't fart on my face BGM: Ballad of Jimmy the Deranged Proctologist DOTIMS10: Die, damnit BGM: Fuegak Wears Long Johns DOTIMS11: I see dead h4x0rz BGM: This Water Tastes Unusual DOTIMS12: Shoe shopping spree BGM: 20% Off All Slaves And Foreigners DOTIMS13: That damn dragon ate my balls! BGM: Makafushigi Adventure (Dragon Ball Japanese theme) DOTIMS14: Gothic Skullfuck Makeup Starters Kit BGM: Painful Physical Pain DOTIMS15: Homeless people suck BGM: Friggin Marsupials DOTIMS16: I downloaded this from Napster BGM: Metallica - Enter Sandman DOTIMS17: I paid a cop to arrest my mother BGM: Risin From Da Ghettoz DOTIMS18: Waiting in the Fileplanet queue for a 20kb file BGM: Pushing It C-Section Style DOTIMS19: I shot down a classroom once BGM: Rollerblades Are Unhealthy For Domestic Animals DOTIMS20: Internet relationships are a path towards suicide BGM: Melodic Emotions Strangled Into A Bread Maker DOTIMS21: Trapped in the 80s BGM: You better not be serious if you don't know this... DOTIMS22: The stock market got owned BGM: Complete Soundtrack To Pong DOTIMS23: The tomfoolery of Sir Derfarhinmankul BGM: Permanent Headache DOTIMS24: Intermission of an Intermission BGM: Don't Question My Interrogation DOTIMS25: The Dracula Jizz Rollercoaster ride BGM 1: Diluteco - Just Kill Me BGM 2: Nirvana - Endless Nameless END: Credits BGM: Greatest Guitar Solo Evar * SHH SECRET MAPS * ????: You smell like a donkey's ass BGM: Argicultral Tension ????: Title of this map to be announced BGM: Extraterristial Government Agents Like To Probe Tongues ????: You're better off smashing your head into a solid wall BGM: Dean's Crappy Imitation of Nirvana ????: Neverending Battle BGM: Some classical midi I found ????: Torture! BGM: Some classical midi I found part two * DM MAPS * DM01: Dwango5 Tribute BGM: The Imperial Guard Marching Band Of Frodianmantletius Perform Dwango5 MAP01 (a.k.a Dean's Crappy Imitation of Dwango5 MAP01) DM02: The Fun house BGM 1: technochicken.mid (<3 xoap) BGM 2: Big Bad Gangsta's Wrappin Rhapsody BGM 3: Ragtime Is Outdated DM03: Pit(s) of DOOM BGM: Death Metal is Dead, like Death DM04: LOL CTF RULZ BGM: Ovary Gobbleclup Dumjock DM05: BGM: Depressive Antibiotic Warfare DM06: Cave Uxdglvks BGM: You Seem Like You Need A Cheesestick DM07: It's Raining Men BGM: See above line * BONUS MAPS * INSTANT: Instant Action BGM: Igloos are worthy houses * Other music * Title: Nirvana - Talk To Me Intermission: If This Is A Dream, Get Me Out Of Here Now Storyline: Answer the Telephone You Dumbass ================================================================ * Monsters * First off, do-tims monsters are not referred to as monsters, but they are all "deadly viruses". Remember, this is a virtual internet headset thingiemabob! Kekerangular - Your basic retarded virus, but always remember that their melee is amazingly powerful. They love hanging around in gardens, irregardless of what orders their masters give them. Drops armour bonuses. Kikiringulin - For when Kekerangulars get rowdy. Unfortunately, their melee action is even more violent than Kekerangulars. Drops health bonuses. Retarded Goomba - Oh noes, an autistic Goomba! What has the world turned in to? Flying Goku - SUPAR SAIYAN GO GO GO Emo - Dwelling in the most popular blog sites, these things believe that nobody is willing to help them get through depression. May suicide at will. Blackfish Clone - The basic army of virii disguised as forum trolls. Believed to have appeared from a site dedicated to the king of hax0r undergrounds. Sausagequatch - The standard guard virii class. Armed with an Auto-Super Shotgun. Drops shells. Buttpirate - They sail the deep ends of space without the need of toilet paper. Because of that, they're prone to spread AIDS. Goth - Also dwelling in blog sites, these beasts believe that nobody is superior to their vast knowledge of common sense and allegience to Satan. They are also likely to commit arson by their early twenties. Emoticon - :/ Sausagedic - They are essentially the medics of the do-tims universe. They can revive expired viruses with ease. They also have some magic staff thingie that hurts. Mario Clone - Spawned from the deadliest pits of Sega fans, these Mario clones are hellbent on destroying anyone who pauses a SMB game on the Nintendo Entertainment System. Sausagar - Deadly little shitbags that use mini-BFGs. Oddly enough, they're incredibly weak against explosives and chainguns. Drops cells. Sausagient - They like to act smart. They think that by wearing a "radiation suit", other viruses will believe that they're intelligent beings. The homing rocket launchers they carry double that belief that they're smarter than anything in the virutal universe. * Mini-bosses * Baronotron - Some insane maniac decided it would be beneficial if they spliced the DNA of a Baron of Hell and an Arachnotron together. As was expected, that maniac had died due to unknown causes. Armoured Sausagequatch - The deadliest guard virus on the interent. Their ability to use virtual weapons are unsurpassed. They're rarely seen outside of Sausage lairs. Drops boxes of bullets. Abacus - These abominations were created to only serve one purpose: To kill and make their victims stare at agony at its ugliness. * Bosses * Kekekingular - The overlord of the entire Kekeke clan. Is known to be adored by all Kikiringulin. Super Baron - Give a Baron of Hell a pack of valium and steroids, and this is the end result. A flaming tower of hatred and evil and other negative thoughts. Sausagelord - The undisputed ruler of a Sausage lair. They carry an unknown weapon of great power. They're also skilled in the arts of stealth. Mech - Towering mobile fortresses of despair. At least, that's what they believe they are. Dracula Demon - Resides in what resembles Transylvania. He seems to always appear every hundred years or so. Has a strong hatred for anyone who possess whips. ================================================================ * Play Information * Episode and Level # : See Above Single Player : Yes Cooperative 2-8 Player : Yes Deathmatch 2-8 Player : Yes Difficulty Settings : Yes New Sounds : Yes New Graphics : Yes New Music : Yes Demos Replaced : Yes May not run with... : Dr. Pepper * Construction * Base : New levels from scratch Editor(s) used : Doom Builder, XWE, PSP5, MSPaint (you won't believe what incredible powers it contains), Goldwave, Notepad * Known Bugs * What * Copyright / Permissions * Authors MAY NOT use this level as a base to build additional levels. You MAY distribute this WAD, provided you include this file, with no modifications. You may distribute this file in any electronic format (BBS, Diskette, CD, etc) as long as you include this file intact. * Where to get this WAD * The usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors FTP sites: Whoever is utterly stupid enough to mirror this BBS numbers: Bwahahahaha, I just love this template! Other: http://deathz0r.unidoom.org/